A Pilgrimage into Light: Discovering Islamic Theosophy

By Edward Mathew Taylor

Originally printed in the MAY-JUNE 2008 issue of Quest magazine. 
Citation: Taylor, Edward Mathew . "A Pilgrimage into Light: Discovering Islamic Theosophy." Quest  96.3 (MAY-JUNE 2008):93-95, 107.

Theosophical Society - Edward Mathew Taylor has been engaged in a personal, experiential inquiry into the world's revealed religions and became a member of the Theosophical Society twenty years ago. After retiring from the corporate world, he returned to school to pursue a Master's degree in Fine Arts. Taylor has developed an artistic portfolio of over one hundred pencil drawings and several written manuscripts. He lives and works in San Francisco, CaliforniaMY ADVENTURE OF DISCOVERY BEGAN in 1987 in Seattle, Washington, when I joined the Seattle Lodge of the Theosophical Society and began studying the Theosophy of Helena Petrovna Blavatsky and Tibetan Buddhism. Like many people who are new to Theosophy, I felt it advantageous to begin a practice in meditation.

Having just gone through a divorce, I had been attending a church in Seattle where everyone seemed too happy. No one could give me an intelligent explanation for why things fall apart. Although I appreciated the need for maintaining a positive attitude, I was still doing damage assessment and trying to understand my role in what had happened.

I sensed Theosophy might offer some answers. Theosophy begins with self-examination and understanding the Laws of Karma: cause and effect or, put another way, what goes around comes around. I could see that I was the cause of much of my own sorrow. At the same time, I became intrigued with finding the Lost Horizon—the Pure Land—the closely held secret teachings that made Tibet the quest of spiritual inquirers throughout the centuries.

I learned about the Masters who had instructed H. P. Blavatsky. I, too, wanted to find "the jewels," so I started studying Buddhist meditation with a couple who had lectured at the Seattle Lodge of the Theosophical Society. It was harder than anticipated. No one could show me how to quiet my "monkey mind" while attempting to meditate.

My lessons in Tibetan Buddhism in Seattle were suddenly cut short in 1989 when my company transferred me to Dallas, Texas. Seven years later, while still in Dallas, an unprecedented opportunity came my way. An acquaintance recommended that I travel to Houston to meet a Tibetan teacher who was assisting with writing a book at Rice University. He represented the Bön religion, which predated traditional Buddhism in Tibet. (He is its world teacher and is now based in Charlottesville, Virginia.) I did not know anybody in Houston, so I found a hotel room and simply showed up for the teachings.

As was the case with other sects of Tibetan Buddhism, Bön was decimated after the Chinese invasion of Tibet. Many Bönpo practitioners came to America for help in rebuilding what was lost, but unlike the other sects of Tibetan Buddhism that have been in the United States for decades, the Bönpo have only been here since 1989 when the Dalai Lama officially proclaimed Bön as the fifth school of Tibetan Buddhism.

Tibetan Bön traces its origin to a Buddha, Tonpa Shenrab, who lived some 18,000 years ago, making this one of the oldest spiritual traditions on the planet. Its place of origin may not have been Western Tibet, but a "lost kingdom" further west in Central Asia. The highest teachings of Bön are the Dzogchen teachings and the attainment of the Rainbow Body in which practitioners experience a metamorphosis of flesh, literally transforming into light—an altogether different definition of enlightenment. For the Bönpo, the term represents a literal, physical transformation of the human body onto a higher evolutionary photonic platform.

I could not believe what I was hearing. These were the jewels of the lost horizon! My experience in Seattle had led me to believe that I would have had to be a trusted practitioner for many years before I would be entrusted with something like this. Yet here I was—a complete stranger!

I shared my amazement with the people in the audience. One person said Bön wanted to differentiate itself from the other Tibetan schools already in the United States. I expressed my doubts about whether most Americans could appreciate something like this. Another person suggested that the teachings protect themselves, in that people who are not prepared for the teaching simply will not make a long-term commitment to it. I counted my blessings and immediately began a daily practice of structured breathing; concentrating, with eyes wide open without blinking and focusing on a luminous rainbow circle on a stick at eye-level, surrounding the Tibetan letter "Ah."

The next landmark in my pilgrimage was a sudden introduction to Islam. Like most Americans, Islam suddenly entered my awareness on September 11, 2001. I knew absolutely nothing about Islam, but the event motivated me to take an unread copy of the Qur'an off my library shelf and read it. Reading the Qur'an, I was stunned by how it was written. The angel Gabriel is instructing Muhammad in the present tense. Consequently, when reading the Qur'an, it is as if the angel is speaking directly to the reader.

Islam ties the teachings of the Hebrews and the Christians together in one final prophecy. I had read both the Old and New Testaments of the Bible, and this made sense to me. I was also looking for something that could connect Western and Eastern thought. Perhaps this was it. While the Arabic culture seemed quite foreign to me, I could accept the Islamic teaching of an eternal, all-encompassing, unimaginable One, who has no partners, progeny, or anthropomorphic characteristics.

Nine months later, I decided to make a commitment to Islam. At that time, I worked for a technology company where many Muslims were employed. I asked a Saudi Arabian project manager I had come to know how one becomes a Muslim. He arranged for me to attend the local mosque and, on the day I took early retirement from my company, I declared the Shahadah: "Ash-shadu an la ilaha illallahu wa Muhammadur rasulullah" (There is no God but Allah and Muhammad is his messenger), and became a Muslim (one who surrenders to Allah, the all-encompassing One).

In reference to the events that occurred on September 11, 2001, I should note that I have never heard any Muslim advocate violence against innocent people. The Qur'an is very specific in teaching that killing innocent people is a seriously grievous sin. As one of my Muslim friends explained to me, this was clearly an extremist political act and not in any way a religious one.

Six months later, after moving to San Francisco, California, I shared my conversion to Islam and my experience with Tibetan Bön with a Persian professor I had met from the University of California in Berkeley. I was stunned by what he brought me the following week. It was a book, The Man of Light in Iranian Sufism by Henri Corbin; a presentation of The Wisdom of Illumination formulated by Amirak as-Suhrawardi, the reviver of the Hermetic Gnosis in Islam in the twelfth century. The book is an exegesis of the teachings of Light Body enlightenment in Islam.

I felt as if the Lost Horizon had opened and from this point on, became preoccupied with seeking an answer to an altogether new set of questions: Where did the whole concept of light body enlightenment originate? And how on earth did it find its way into Islam?  Indeed, this appeared to be the Rainbow Bridge that links the East with the West—Buddhism with Biblical tradition—another set of priceless jewels.

Originally written in French, only a fraction of Corbin's writing has been translated into English. In The Man of Light, Corbin suggests that the photisms of light that one can naturally see within the eyes in darkness are soul-generated. In Tibetan Bön, one learns through meditation exercises in the dark, called Thogal practice, to rest in the natural arising of these inner lights, and not grasp at them when they occur. One encounters these visions in seven-week "Dark Retreats," where one waits for these visions to appear in a room with no light. Food and water are provided through a light-proof closet. Originally, these Dark Retreats were practiced in caves in the mountains of Tibet.

After death, similar visions appear in the Bardo—the intermediary state between death and rebirth. If, having practiced Thogal, one has learned to naturally rest in these visions and not grasp them when they appear in the Bardo, the cycle of rebirth will be broken. They become a Rainbow Body, or a Body of Light. According to Corbin, similar meditation exercises existed in Islam as well as in Buddhist Tibet. Corbin calls this physical metamorphosis into light the ultimate "Theophany."

In The Man of Light, Corbin summarizes the teachings of Najm Razi, an Islamic master-teacher who offers an entire hierarchy of subtle organs of light and color that reside in the human body that he associates with the Prophets of Islam and calls the "Seven Prophets of Your Being."

The first of these organs is called the'subtle body,' or the embryonic stage of the'new body.' This is called the Adam of your being. This is white light, the sign of Islam [surrendering to the all-encompassing One].

The second organ corresponds to the'human soul,' and is called the Noah of your being. This is yellow light, the sign of the fidelity of faith.

The third organ corresponds to the'heart,' and is called the Abraham of your being. It is dark blue light [indigo], the sign of benevolence.

The fourth organ corresponds to the'secret threshold of superconsciousness,' and is called the Moses of your being. It is green light, the sign of pacified soul.

The fifth organ corresponds to the'spirit,' and is called the David of your being. It is azure blue, the sign of firm assurance.

The sixth organ corresponds to what might best be described as the 'theophanic witness' [arcanum], the Holy Spirit of God [this is not viewed in Islam as a separate entity from Allah], and is called the Jesus [Isa] of your being. It is red, the sign of mystical gnosis, or'theosophical knowledge, the Nous, or Active Intelligence.

The seventh organ corresponds to the'divine center of your being,' and is called the Mohammad of your being where one becomes the mouthpiece of God. It is black light, the sign of passionate, mystical love (107, 124, 126).

In Tibet, it is the Rainbow Body. To me, these seven organs suggest the physiology of color of Goethe, while the seven colors bring to mind the work of Sir Isaac Newton.

According to Corbin, this gradation of color reflects the process of this Theophany. Corbin suggests that one can evaluate one's progress on the path by identifying the predominant color of the internally generated photisms one is able to witness during these meditation practices in the dark. (Corbin actually goes so far as to suggest that, subconsciously, these colors are reflected in the favorite colors of the clothing people wear.)

The key to attaining this kind of Theophany, according to Corbin, is to declare one's poverty (the root meaning of the word "dervish"). In the Tibetan schema, this might constitute affirming one's essential emptiness. To experience these photisms, one must be open and cease to grasp or attempt to appropriate them when they occur. Corbin references Islamic text to this effect: "Renounce seeing, for here it is not a question of seeing." It is a process of surrendering; of releasing into bliss. This process of photonic metamorphosis has remarkable similarities to the Dzogchen teachings of Tibet.

How did the Light Body teachings enter into Islam? Corbin does not specifically address this question in The Man of Light, but he does provide some hints in his book, History of Islamic Philosophy. According to Corbin, during the thirteenth-century Mongol invasions, Islamic scholars who were situated in Central Asia, known as Outer Persia fled westward to Iran. It is possible that the medieval Persian influence in the area could mirror the current Islamic footprint, which extends into Kashmir and approximates Bön's place of origin.

Najm Kobr, an Islamic master-teacher, was among those who fled Central Asia to Iran. It is possible that Najm Kobr and others may have documented the teachings and practices of Tibetan Bön and introduced them into esoteric Islam. Finding an Islamic teacher familiar with this was the next stage of my journey.

In 2005, soon after completing my graduate studies in San Francisco, I befriended a software consultant who translated the Arabic sermons at the local mosque into English. This was a man I trusted completely, and when he mentioned that he and his wife were thinking of making the annual pilgrimage to Mecca in Saudi Arabia, I surprised him by asking if he would take me with him. He surprised me when he agreed.

The journey required a great deal of rigorous preparation. There were specific prayers I needed to memorize in Arabic and we had to chart out certain rituals that needed to be done on specific days without fail. We contacted one of the many firms that offer Hajj (pilgrimage) packages with hotel accommodations, meals, and transportation included. They would guide us every step of the way and, at that time, I had the necessary funds to be able to make the trip.

Over a period of time and through serious spiritual investigation, my trip to Mecca three years ago was an unprecedented outward expression of what has become a deeply-rooted inner reality. I simply do not possess the ability to describe what it is like to hear the Adhan (the Islamic Call to Prayer) ringing over loudspeakers all throughout the streets of Mecca, in a sea of over three million people—men and women—dressed in white robes, all concentrated in the same place, lined up in ranks to pray, foot-to-foot, kneeling on the cut marble flagstones of the Grand Mosque of Mecca—Al Haram (the Sanctuary)—bowing their foreheads to the floor. It was an experience that has been forever branded into my audio-visual memory store.

The Grand Mosque of Mecca is about the size of an American professional baseball park. It has spiritual significance for Muslims, Jews, and Christians alike. It is the place where Hagar, the first wife of Abraham, took Ishmael, Abraham's firstborn son into the desert.

In the Biblical account, Hagar traversed between two hills looking for a well. Her tracks have long since disappeared from the long concourse that stretches along the back of the Mosque, but the two hills, Safa and Marwa, are still there, and the fabled well, the Zamzam spring, still produces water after all these years.

According to the Muslim version, Abraham designed and built the Ka'ba, the focal point of all Muslim prayer around the world, on a spot that God designated by sending down a stone from heaven. Abraham implanted the Black Stone in the corner of the Ka'ba where it remains to this day. Pilgrims journey to Mecca to see and touch the Ka'ba and to circumambulate the structure seven times in a counter-clockwise direction (the same direction in which the Bönpo circumambulate their stupas). Many people do not realize that the ultimate destination of the Muslim pilgrimage is not Mecca, but Arafat, a hilltop far out in the Saudi Arabian desert, where Abraham received his calling as a prophet on the Mount of Mercy. Five days of the Hajj are spent out in the desert, journeying to and from Arafat.

The purpose of the pilgrimage is not to simply visit these places. The intent is for each and every pilgrim to experience in some way what Abraham and Hagar experienced: a calling to serve the eternal, all-encompassing One, who has no partners, progeny, or anthropomorphic characteristics. Those who debate the legitimacy of the pilgrimage simply do not appreciate the value and purpose of the journey.

Six months after we returned home to San Francisco, my friend and Hajj companion was transferred, ironically, to Houston, Texas. Thus, our journey to Mecca was a window of opportunity that was opened to me for only a brief while, and I was wise enough to take advantage. As I resumed reading Henri Corbin, I learned that the cave in the mountains above Mecca where Mohammad received his revelations is referred to by many Muslims as the cave of the lights of prophecy. "Allah guides to his Light whom he wills" (Qur'an, 24:35).

The Theosophical perspective considers life itself to be a sacred journey. If we approach our experiences in this way, then even the small and mundane can become touched with divinity. This is a gift we can share with everyone we live and work with, especially our own children and the younger generations.


References

Corbin, Henri. The History of Islamic Philosophy. New York: Columbia University Press, 2006.
———. The Man of Light in Iranian Sufism. New Lebanon, NY: Omega Publications, 1994.

Edward Mathew Taylor has been engaged in a personal, experiential inquiry into the world's revealed religions and became a member of the Theosophical Society twenty years ago. After retiring from the corporate world, he returned to school to pursue a Master's degree in Fine Arts. Taylor has developed an artistic portfolio of over one hundred pencil drawings and several written manuscripts. He lives and works in San Francisco, California


Explorations: A Pilgrimage of Silence in the Land of John of the Cross

by Robert Trabold

Originally printed in the MAY-JUNE 2008 issue of Quest magazine. 
Citation: Trabold, Robert. "Explorations: A Pilgrimage of Silence in the Land of John of the Cross."Quest  96.3 (MAY-JUNE 2008):108-110.

Theosophical Society - Robert Trabold has a Ph.D. in sociology with specialties in urban issues and the religious expressions of people in transition, especially immigrants. Presently he is active in many prayer movements. His reflective poetry and articles on contemplative prayer have been published in Quest and other journals.IN RECENT YEARS, I HAVE MADE PILGRIMAGES of silence to the places in Spain where John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila lived, worked, and died. I call them pilgrimages of silence because I go alone and in visiting the various sites, try to be open to how the two saints might assist me in growing in my contemplative path. When making pilgrimages, I am conscious of walking in a long tradition. In most religions of the world, including Christianity, pilgrims take a long trip to holy places. They break their daily routine of work, home, and recreation in order to encounter the holy during this time. I begin in Segovia where John of the Cross worked, and is buried. Next, I make a short day trip to Avila where Teresa of Avila lived and worked most of her life. I finish my pilgrimage in Alba de Tormes, a small agricultural town where Teresa is buried after becoming very ill and dying during her travels. As pilgrims, we step out of and over our boundaries to encounter something deeper in our life.

Also, in making this journey to Spain, I realize that it is a paradigm of the pilgrimage of my human life on earth. I know that the world is not my true home and that this life is one of homelessness. In the pilgrimage, I am making a trip to my true home—an encounter with God. I make this effort because when I return to the United States, my temporary home, I hope to be renewed and have the strength to continue my human pilgrimage in a more authentic way—a way more oriented to God which helps me survive the ups and downs of my life on earth.

The city of Segovia, my first stop in the pilgrimage, is an hour and a half bus ride west of Madrid in the mountain country. Segovia a lovely medieval city surrounded by fortified walls, has many lovely architectural monuments. It also boasts of having the largest, still operative Roman aqueduct; it was built without the use of cement, the stones being precisely chiseled to rest next to and on top of one another. The chapel and church where John of the Cross is buried lies outside the city walls in a lovely river valley with beautiful parks which give way to agricultural fields and countryside. The burial chapel has an ornate baroque style and when the lights are on, the gold and the decorations dazzle the eyes.

While visiting Segovia and John of the Cross' burial site, I do two things he suggests for our contemplative growth. He was very enamored with nature and used to sit in prayer for many hours in the quiet of natural beauty. He often took his students to the country and encouraged them to walk alone in nature to experience God's presence. I am also fond of nature and have been a hiker in mountains most of my life, so following the example of John of the Cross, I spend much time walking in the lovely park land along the river close to the church. I also take long walks in the agricultural fields behind the church where I can see the lovely city of Segovia on a hill and enjoy the snowcapped mountains in the distance. There is a certain peace there and I feel God's presence; I might be walking on the same paths that John of the Cross traveled with his students. On these walks, I am reminded of the lovely stanza from his poem "The Spiritual Canticle":

Love, let us now
Rejoice and through your beauty
Travel hills and mountains
Where clear water runs;
Let's push into the wilds more deeply.

John of the Cross also says that we should have an attitude of silence and listening waiting on God to lead us on. In contemplative prayer, it is God who takes the initiative to touch us with His/Her presence. It is something that comes into our life not of our own will and the divine calls us to a new relationship. There is a phrase in German, "Gotteswirken ist ein Wirken der Stille und der Nacht"which translates as "God's works are works of stillness and the night"(Jodl 36). In this silence and at the core of our person, we encounter a presence calling us to a relationship of love. There is a sitting and waiting on our part as God reveals Himself/Herself more deeply and intimately to us.

As time goes on, I have found this waiting and listening that John of the Cross advises to be a cultural shock. It is so different from my life in the world where I am always busy and producing more in my education and work. I have always taken the initiative to do things and to get ahead in the world. Now, I am called to sit in the darkness and the quiet to encounter God, the Beloved, who touches me at my core. In that touch, there is a peace that the world cannot give, but nevertheless, I feel the tension of this new path in my life. In this situation, I lose something but gain something else. The presence I meet at my core and center is a mysterious one because the divine is transcendent and completely other.

We humans will never grasp the absolute with our intellect and senses, but can only touch the divine in a relationship of love. On earth, our relationship with God is incomplete and we will be able to be fully in His/Her presence only in eternal life. That is the reason why the encounter of the two lovers in the poem of John of the Cross, "The Dark Night,"takes place at night and in the darkness. In walking in the lovely fields around Segovia and sitting in the chapel of John of the Cross, I ask him to help me grow in silence and listening and to adjust to the contemplative path. Encountering God in nature and in the church of John of the Cross, I realize that I am participating in the second movement of the pilgrimage, an interior journey. In contemplative prayer, I meet a presence—the Beloved at my center.

My external trip to Spain leads me to an interior dimension of encountering the divine. The two pilgrimages, the exterior and interior, compliment each other and teach me that my outer and inner lives are one totality and my whole life is one of "being on the way"—making a trip to my true home. In my total being, I am a homo viator, as Marcel states. The root of my inner and outer pilgrimage is the desire to reach my true home, the encounter with God. To accomplish this, I break out of my daily routine and boundaries.

During my stay in Segovia, I take the opportunity to make a day trip to Avila, an hour's bus ride away. Teresa spent most of her life, and did most of her work, in Avila. It is also a beautiful medieval city situated on a hill, surrounded by impressive walls. Like Segovia, there are snowcapped mountains in the distance. It has beautiful architectural buildings and many places connected to the life and work of Teresa of Avila. When I visit the city, I am drawn to visit the Convent of the Incarnation. One can see the room in which she lived complete with her personal possessions, the room where she and John of the Cross discussed the reform of the Carmelite Order. I particularly like to go the chapel because I can visit the spot where, in the presence of John of the Cross, Teresa had her spiritual marriage to Christ on November 18, 1572. It was a momentous occasion in her life and friendship with Jesus, and it is also a goal for us traveling the contemplative path.

In her book The Interior Castle, Teresa of Avila describes beautifully the intimacy of her union with God. She says that in this interior marriage, Jesus prepares a room for Himself in the soul of the person where He will be present. He is a companion who will never leave.

Everything about the union of spiritual marriage is unique. . . . I mean the spirit of the soul is made one with God, who is also spirit. God desires to show us how much he loves us by revealing the vast reaches of this love to the soul so that we may praise his greatness. All he wants is to be joined with his creature so completely that they can never be torn apart. He doesn't want to be separated from her! (269)

Teresa of Avila goes on to say that this companion, Jesus at our center, gives us great confidence because we know that He will look after us (276).

The spiritual marriage of Teresa of Avila to God may be a goal in our contemplative path, and spiritual writers mention that this is what we are called to. Dr. Jacques Vigne, in his book Le mariage interieur en Orient et en Occident, describes how this call is present in both western and eastern contemplative thinking. God enters the core of our person and is present there. We are called to have a loving relationship with the divine and become ever more conscious of this presence.

As I stand close to the spot in the chapel in Avila where Teresa of Avila had her interior marriage with Jesus, I think of another Christian mystic, a Frenchwoman, Mary of the Incarnation, (1599-1672). She experienced a mystical marriage with the Trinity and Jesus on three occasions in her life. Shortly thereafter, she took the name Mary of the Incarnation, to honor her husband, Jesus—the Incarnation. Like Teresa of Avila, in her letters and writings, she writes beautifully about the intimacy of her marriage to Christ.

The last leg of my pilgrimage of silence is a visit to Alba de Tormes where Teresa of Avila died. It is a three-hour bus ride from Segovia to the university town of Salamanca where I have to change to a commuter bus for a short twenty minute ride to the small town of Alba de Tormes. It is an agricultural village surrounded by lovely fields situated on the river Tormes and like Segovia and Avila, there are snowcapped mountains in the distance. Teresa of Avila is buried in a small church and her remains are above the main altar. Upon entering the church, there is a small window in the wall where one can see the room where she died.

On the several occasions that I have visited Alba de Tormes, she has touched me through her famous poem "Solo Dios Basta"(Only God matters). Here is my translation:

Nothing should bother you.
Do not let things get you down.
Keep in mind, patience accomplishes all.
If you are with God,
you will lack nothing.
Only God matters.

This poem gives me confidence because my life, just as any human life, has had its problems and trials. Also, the world we live in is a far cry from the justice and peace we would like to see manifest in it. There are constant upheavals of injustice and violence. In visiting Alba de Tormes, Teresa of Avila invites me to place my confidence in God and not be overwhelmed by the problems I encounter. For the day or two of my visits, the poem stays with me helping me grow in this confidence. It is a struggle and a challenge. If the goal of the contemplative path is an interior marriage with the Beloved, I know with time that the divine will give me this confidence and trust. God is our companion in life.

In my pilgrimage of silence to Spain, I follow the footsteps of John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila, visiting the places where they lived and worked. My growth in the contemplative path is a process of the revelation of the Divine Someone to me, and hopefully these two saints help me in this process.

Victor Turner, in his book, Dramas, Fields, and Metaphors, describes a pilgrimage as a threshold experience. The pilgrim visits a pilgrimage center—a place in and out of time—and hopes to have a direct experience of the sacred or the supernatural order. The pilgrim often wants some help in the material order, a healing for example, or an inner transformation of his person and character in the immaterial order. I have taken time out from my ordinary life and experience to visit a foreign country in order to make this pilgrimage, have this threshold experience, and touch the divine. There is a rupture, a breaking out of and going beyond my daily boundaries to meet the holy. I am trying to get a glimpse of my true home.

As the pilgrimage draws to a close, I feel deeply that it is a paradigm of my whole life on earth and I am involved in various passages and rituals in life to become what I am called to be—a person. However, this is incomplete because as a traveler on earth, I am homeless. Yet, due to my faith in the absolute ground of my life, the God who travels with His/Her people in exile, I will ultimately meet the divine in my situation of homelessness. The pilgrimage teaches me to be steadfast in my life's journey with its crisis and uncertainties and to grow in my ultimate goal to be a child of God. I also realize that this trip on earth will never stand still. Life is a continuum of experiences that runs from the easy and satisfying to the difficult and tragic. The challenge of my life's journey is always to try to encounter God's presence in these realities so that He/She will give me the strength to face up to the unforeseeable future. I may have an experience of being on Mount Tabor with the transformed Christ on my pilgrimage to Spain, but I cannot stay there. I have to return to my homeless situation, my life in the world, and always try to encounter God who also lives in time and will show me new horizons of growth and maturity for myself and the world.

On our contemplative path, John of the Cross counsels us to be "silent and listen"and be open to a revelation of the Divine Someone. Hopefully, all of us who make this pilgrimage of silence will become more open to the Presence who calls us, and is present as our companion.

The role of contemplatives in the world is to witness to the presence of God in the world, His/Her closeness and to point out the signs of the divine footsteps. We are like watchmen in the night always knowing that the dawn will come. Our relationship with God is beyond us because the divine is transcendent, but we can touch the absolute through love and so have a mutual relationship. If I look for a few words capturing and summing up the whole pilgrimage, I think of the opening stanza from the poem "The Dark Night of John of the Cross,"

On a dark night,
Afflicted and aflame with love,
O joyful chance!
I went out unnoticed,
My house lying silent at last


Robert Trabold has a Ph.D. in Sociology with specialties in urban issues and the religious expressions of people in transition, especially immigrants. As an adult, the contemplative dimension of his character has grown stronger, and presently, Robert is active in many prayer movements. His reflective poetry and articles on contemplative prayer and its path have been published in Quest and other journals. He lives in New York City.


Access to a Western Esotercist

By Gary Lachman

Gary LachmanAntoine Faivre is a professor at the École Pratique des Hautes Études, Religious Studies Section, Sorbonne; he is also University Professor of Germanic Studies at the University of Haute-Normandie and the author of several books, among them Access to Western Esotericism (SUNY Press, 1996), The Eternal Hermes (Phanes Press, 1996) and The Golden Fleece and Alchemy (SUNY Press, 1996). With two colleagues, he edits a journal, ARIES, for the Association pour la Recherche et l'Information sur l'Ésotérisme and is director of the series Cahiers de l'Hermétisme (Albin Michel).

Those achievements are impressive enough, one would think. But Faivre is notable for an additional reason. He holds the Sorbonne's chair in the History of Esoteric and Mystical Currents in Modern and Contemporary Europe. Along with Joscelyn Godwin, Wouter J. Hanegraaff, Robert McDermott, and a few others, Faivre is among a group of modern university scholars for whom the words "esoteric" and "occult" are not anathema. In recent years, the study of esotericism has made inroads into areas of academic respectability. Nevertheless, among his colleagues, Faivre's position is unlike any other. As a friend remarked, if there's such a thing as a "professor of esotericism," he has to be in Paris.

Inaugurated in 1965, the chair in the History of Christian Esotericism was first held by Faivre's predecessor, the aptly named François Secret, a specialist in Christian Kabbalah. Back then, the idea of "esotericism" was familiar at most to a few readers of René Guénon and followers of G. I. Gurdjieff, who had left his mark on Paris in the 1930s and 1940s. But by the time Faivre assumed the chair in 1979, times had changed. The "occult revival" of the 1960s and 1970s had taken place, and the roots of what became the New Age and a global hunger for spirituality had begun to stir. For the postmodern academic climate, eager to challenge canons and plough new fields of research, the rich history of the western esoteric tradition must have seemed a ripe territory to explore.

For readers familiar mainly with popular literature on the subject, Faivre's approach can be sobering. Rigorously historical, his aim is to rescue esotericism from obscurity and obfuscation, and situate it as a legitimate current in the cultural heritage of the West. This means, first of all, to define exactly what we mean by the term.

One thing he does not mean is a "tradition." He says, "I don't know what it means, the 'esoteric tradition'. I prefer to speak of 'currents' and of esotericism as a 'form of thought'." For Faivre, esotericism is less a body of received doctrine than a way of looking at the world, a way that is pluralistic, eclectic, open to different ideas, and, oddly, modern. Postmodern, even. What Faivre calls his "humanist path" to esotericism shares much with poststructuralist thought.

This summer, researching a book on the modern occult revival, I had an opportunity to meet Faivre in Paris. At the Salon de Les Trois Colleges, on Rue Cujas near the Sorbonne, we had a conversation about esotericism, hermeticism, and the occult revival of the 1960s and 1970s.

GL: I've been reading The Eternal Hermes and Access to Western Esotericism, and I like very much your talk about esotericism as a "state of mind" or sensibility, rather than a doctrine.

Faivre: I call it a form of thought. An English translation of a second volume of Access is currently being prepared by SUNY. It's entitled Theosophy, Imagination, and Tradition, which are the 3 main chapters, and subtitled Studies in Western Esotericism. I'm currently going over a copy-edited version.

GL: SUNY's been doing very good work, producing many titles. Ten years ago you didn't see as many texts devoted to esotericism.

Faivre: Speaking of that, something very interesting has happened in Germany, almost for the first time, because German scholars since World War II have hardly busied themselves with the historical study of esotericism. But it seems things are undergoing a change. A symposium devoted to esotericism in the eighteenth century was organized by Monika Neugebauer-Wolk in Germany, the proceedings of which have just been published this year, entitled Aufklarung und Esoterik. She has written a long introduction dealing with the methodological approaches used by Hanegraaff and me.

GL: I mentioned that I am writing about the occult revival of the 1960s. It's odd that in 1965, only a few years after the very popular Le Matin des magiciens (The Morning of the Magicians, by Louis Pauwels and Jacques Bergier, 1960) appeared, that a chair of Western Esotericism was established at the Sorbonne. Do you see any connection?

Faivre: Not at all. There's no connection, or only an indirect one. You could look at it as I do in Access to Western Esotericism, in terms of "periodization"—how certain things happen at the same time—but to be honest, one must say that there was really no direct connection. The Section des Sciences Religieuses at the Sorbonne is designed to cover a wide area of religious phenomena. It was realized little by little that too many things under that heading were neglected, despite the fact that in 1965 we had forty chairs in that domain. Too many things pertaining to religious phenomena were borderline, and didn't fall under a classical definition of "religious." Call it "mysticism" if you like. And so in 1965 a chair of Christian Esotericism was devised to cover at least some of these things. The creation of this chair was not due to some impetus to "keep abreast of the times," but just to fill in a horrendous gap.

GL: Were you interested in esotericism then?

Faivre: Yes. You see, in 1958 I was twenty-four, in the army, most of the time in Algeria, during the war. I read Le Matin des magiciens then. It was a big change from what I busied myself with at the university. I was interested in German Romanticism and animal magnetism, which plays a role in some aspects of German philosophy. I discovered Goethe's long poem, The Bride of Corinth, which is a vampire story. At the same time I saw the Terence Fisher film, The Horror of Dracula. I made a connection and immersed myself in the study of the vampire story in Europe, which I traced back to the beginning of the eighteenth century. I worked and worked on this idea and shortly before going into the army had a big manuscript, which I gave to a publisher. A few months later, on leave in Paris, I discovered to my amazement that he had published the book, which was only a draft! I was simultaneously pleased and disappointed.

That book, Les Vampires: Essai historique, critique et littéraire (1962) has been considered a kind of mythological work. I was really interested in things that had very little to do with the classical academic curricula. I decided then to work on esotericism. As a Germanist, I was in a rather good position. So many things had been neglected. I began studying esoteric currents in the Renaissance, Pico, Paracelsus, and so on. I studied mostly esoteric currents in Germany in the eighteenth century—Karl von Eckartshausen (1752-1803), who was the subject of my PhD work, Theosophers, people dabbling in magic or alchemy in the pre-Romantic and Romantic periods.

GL: Was this considered an odd pursuit?

Faivre: An interesting question. I was dealing with authors from two hundred years ago, who hadn't been recognized, who couldn't be found in the general books of literature. Most Germanists worked with authors with a certain academic recognition. But fortunately, and for the first time, I must say, in the French academy, the kind of work I was doing became something of a trend. At the end of the 1950s, in the early 1960s, there were more and more professors who considered that research should be devoted to minor people writing at the time the historians were studying. And that's what happened. In 1969 my study on Eckhartshausen was published. My director received a few phone calls from his colleagues, basically saying, "We don't even know the name of the guy this thesis is devoted to." But then came the trend. This wasn't the beginning, but it was starting to spread.

GL: And where does that place the study of esotericism today? It definitely seems more academically respectable, but is there any danger of its becoming just another academic subject, and of losing its heart?

Faivre: A danger? Why a danger? You can apply that to any subject in religious studies. Why should esoteric studies be an exception? We would never vote an individual into our institute who approached us with a thought like that. Within the academy studies have to be academic. And nothing else.

GL: But it seems you're balancing between wanting to do a very thorough, rigorous historical study, so that it's much more serious than much New Age writing, and trying to retain the heart of esotericism somehow. From your writing I get the idea that it's more than a subject for study.

Faivre: I would do exactly the same thing in any other subject. I would write with my heart. By no means is what I do designed to spread esotericism. We are not proselytizing. Absolutely not. I'm not someone who writes or speaks with a view to propagating these ideas.

GL: One aspect of the occult revival of the 1960s and 1970s is that so much of it looked back to the occultists and esotericists of the late nineteenth century. It seemed that in the late nineteenth century, esotericism and the occult made inroads into areas covered by literature and the arts. Why do you think this was so?

Faivre: It was the first time esoteric ideas reached the masses. That didn't happen until the end of the nineteenth century. The Theosophical Society was really sociologically a great movement. Anthroposophy was a bit later. At the end of World War I there were many other societies—such as AMORC, the Rosicrucian society. This accounts for the spread into popular culture and the arts. Then in the 1960s, you could say it was already the dawn of postmodernism. We were coming out of the period of the great ideologies. There were many people dissatisfied with Marxism, existentialism, and so on. Things were very bleak. Then there was this strange medley of all sorts of things, such as the book by Pauwels and Bergier. It wasn't so much what was in it, as how it was arranged, how it was laid out. It's a bad book. But it's of great interest to sociologists.

Being interested in esoteric currents doesn't mean being interested only in the period when that current was supposed to have reached its "perfection," but in the genesis, developments, shiftings, derivations. When I first staring reading this sort of literature, names like Crowley, the Golden Dawn, and Gurdjieff sounded mysterious. Now they're no longer mysterious. They ceased to be so as early as the 1970s. But one of the tricks of Le Matin des magiciens was to present religious mysteries as scientific enigmas, and scientific enigmas as sacred mysteries.

GL: As Erich von Daniken would do soon after in Chariots of the Gods. The gods are spacemen.

Faivre: Daniken represents one of the extreme forms of euhemerism. There is a strong euhemeristic trend in all this. [Euhemerus, 3rd century sc, believed the gods were humans divinized after death.] In order to make sacred things palatable in our culture, which has lost its interest in established religions, we need to find actual, physical explanations. I find that very clever, in the sense of how our cosmological images are shaped.

[In The Eternal Hermes, Faivre traces the history of the fleet-footed god in the Western imagination. In one strongly euhemerist view, Hermes-Thoth was an actual historical person, responsible for some 36,525 books. I told Faivre how much I liked his view of Hermeticism as a pluralistic, eclectic way of looking at things.]

Faivre: There is an opposite way of looking at esoteric currents, a way that tends toward dogmatism, and that unfortunately has got a great deal of attention. Think of René Guénon. Consider for example the notion of universal correspondences. It's extraordinary how different or opposite discourses on that can be. It boils down to the question of hierarchies. If you say that what is above is like what is below, and what is below is like what is above, you can have a very hierarchical view of humankind, of nature. And this lends itself to an approach that describes higher and lower levels of reality, for example Vedanta, or rather the dogmatic way in which Vedanta is presented in some perennialist discourses.

On the other hand, the very notion of universal correspondences can be understood in a way that is absolutely different—in a democratic way, for example, when William Blake says, "To see the world in a grain of sand." The Copernican revolution did not make problems for the hermeticists. So the earth is no longer the center. So? Okay. Hermes speaks of the center, but there is not only one center, there is an infinity of centers, and there the notion of hierarchy tends to disappear.

You have two ways of looking at things when one speaks of esotericism. One way can be used to the advantage of certain right-wing political movements. Here the emphasis is on hierarchy and authority. It's led to esotericism being associated for the most part with right-wing politics. This is one reason why esotericism hasn't been a major study in Germany. It has the association of the Nazis and the occult and so on. And some esotericists have been right-wing. But there is also a strong left-wing, socialist history in esotericism. Éliphas Lévi, who began the occultist current in the nineteenth century, was a utopian socialist.

GL: It seems this aspect of esotericism is getting the most attention these days. You tend to see more and more that it gets lumped in with fascism and right-wing politics, and obviously there is some of that. Julius Evola, for example.

Faivre: Of course, yet many people see only this, not the other. Because of these misunderstandings, an interesting, scholarly academic association was created here. Politica Hermetica, to which I belong, has a conference every year, each time on a different subject, and the proceedings are published. We've had topics such as "Hermeticism and the French Revolution" and "The Politics in Evola and Guénon." Wouter Hanegraaff, of Utrecht University in the Netherlands, is seriously thinking of a big international symposium on the subject. So there is some positive work on esotericism and right-wing politics.

All this has to be discussed and thoroughly studied. There have been excellent books, like Nicolas Goodrick-Clarke's The Occult Roots of Nazism. But most books that deal with this don't deal with the fact that the people who are presented as sources or references for the Nazis don't by any means represent all the esoteric currents.

GL: I was going to say that the whole Alexandrian atmosphere that fostered Hermeticism was one of tolerance and plurality. I don't think many of us would enjoy living under a theocratic social system, like the kind Guénon would have approved of.

Faivre: Exactly.

GL: I want to say that you are doing good work, reclaiming aspects of Western culture and history that have been unavailable for many people—aspects that many people would be interested in if they knew about them, but they don't.

Faivre: I have been trying for a few years to present a methodology for studying particular aspects or currents of esoteric thought. This methodology has, I hope, contributed to opening the field of esotericism to academic research. What is important is that one tries, always tries, to define more and more thoroughly what one is speaking about. Not to confuse esotericism with mysticism, or religion, or intuition, or secrecy, and so on. Of course, there are lots of overlapping areas. But one must proceed methodologically, otherwise one does not do service to the things one studies.


Gary Lachman has written for the Times Literary Supplement, Lapis, Gnosis, and ReVision, as well as the Quest. He is currently writing a book, The Mystic Sixties, and lives in London with his partner and their son.


From Exclusivism to Convergence Part 1

By James M. Somerville

John Hick, a noted British philosopher of religion, estimates that 95 percent of the people of the world owe their religious affiliation to an accident of birth. The faith of the vast majority of believers depends upon where they were born and when. Those born in Saudi Arabia will almost certainly be Moslems, and those born and raised in India will for the most part be Hindus. Nevertheless, the religion of millions of people can sometimes change abruptly in the face of major political and social upheavals. In the middle of the sixth century ce, virtually all the people of the Near East and Northern Africa, including Turkey, Syria, Iraq, and Egypt were Christian. By the end of the following century, the people in these lands were largely Moslem, as a result of the militant spread of Islam.

The Situation Today

Barring military conquest, conversion to a faith other than that of one's birth is rare. Some Jews, Moslems, and Hindus do convert to Christianity, but not often. Similarly, it is not common for Christians to become Moslems or Jews. Most people are satisfied that their own faith is the true one or at least good enough to satisfy their religious and emotional needs. Had St. Augustine or St. Thomas Aquinas been born in Mecca at the start of the present century, the chances are that they would not have been Christians but loyal followers of the prophet Mohammed.

Realizing how dependent on circumstances one's religious commitment is, many well-informed Christians today are inclined to be relativists. Perhaps that is one of the reasons why mainline churches are suffering a loss of membership or at least a diminution of active participation. University-trained churchgoers tend to be less enthusiastic about their faith than were their predecessors. They distrust the ancient scriptures, created by men with little knowledge of science and cosmology or the size and age of the universe, reflecting an archaic worldview that does not speak to our contemporary concerns and understanding. What we are witnessing, then, is a shift in the composition of church membership. The evangelical and fundamentalist communities are growing while the mainline churches are losing members.

Where have the dropouts gone? Some, nowhere at all. They have simply given up on religion. Others have taken up Eastern meditative practices, which they find more rewarding than the verbal prayer they were accustomed to in their mother churches although they may still regard themselves as Christians or Jews. Some in the Jewish community call themselves a "Ju-Bu." They are Jews by birth and upbringing who have studied Buddhism and find it a useful supplement to their own Jewish faith and practice. It is also not uncommon today to find a Hindu ashram headed by a swami or guru who is not an Indian but an American or a European.

The invasion of the East represents a reversal of what Christian missionaries had in mind in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, when they went to Asia and Africa to convert the infidel, though with no great success in Asia. Now purveyors of the Asian religions have come to the West and are enjoying a notable success, not so much in making converts as in convincing Americans and Europeans that Western religions are not the only spiritual paths of worth.

Proselytism and Responses to Diversity

When people in one part of the world want to make their faith palatable to those elsewhere, they often make an attempt at acculturation. Nonessential elements of the faith that would be distinctly foreign to others are suppressed, and the religion is made to look more like what the natives are accustomed to. So recently Christian missionaries in Asia and Africa have adapted their practice to the expectations and preferences of the people they have chosen to live with. In the same way, practitioners of Eastern religions try to modify their systems so they will not seem too bizarre to Westerners.

With or without adaptation, however, the aim of the zealous missionary is to make converts. As might be expected, that aim does not sit well with the natives. India does not welcome Catholic and Evangelical missionaries who have come to India with the intention of winning souls away from Hinduism or any of the other Indian religions. Russia has recently limited the stay of European and American missionaries to three months. The Russian Orthodox Church, which is gradually recovering from seventy-five years of persecution under an atheistic regime, is not at all pleased with the arrival of foreigners bent on luring Russians away from Orthodoxy to embrace some other form of Christianity. People are very sensitive about their traditional religion. Intruders are not welcome.

Churches are instinctively conservative. Catholics used to hold that a person who abandons his childhood faith, even to join another Christian denomination, has committed a grave sin. Orthodox Jews often deal severely with those who marry non-Jews, especially Christians. One response is to hold a symbolic funeral service for "the departed" and exclude the offenders from all contact with their family until they return to the fold. Author Salmon Rushdie has learned to his sorrow that any criticism of things dear to Moslems can result in a death sentence with a reward for his execution. Some Hindus maintain that those who leave India for the West to make their fortune and never return are disloyal to the Vedic tradition. Thus religions have a way of exerting moral pressure and imposing penalties on those who fail to conform.

Given the fact that the largest religions have gone their separate ways and are not likely to merge, it is clear that there is never likely to be a single world religion. Consequently the adherents of every religion are faced with the necessity of deciding how to think about other faiths. Scholars in religious studies, such as John Hick, Paul Knitter, John E. Cobb, Jr., and Raimon Panikkar, have distinguished three differing approaches to the existence of many religions in the world. These approaches are often called "exclusivism," "inclusivism," and "pluralism." To them I would add a fourth---"convergence."

Exclusivism

In the face of the diversity of religions, those in the exclusivist camp maintain that there is only one true religion, their own, and that all the others are in error to a greater or lesser degree. Many feel an obligation to work diligently to convert those in error for their own good and bring them to a knowledge of the truth. Hence, making converts is often a major concern of religious fundamentalists. After all, St. Peter declared, when he was arraigned before the Temple authorities some days after Pentecost: "There is salvation in no one else [other than Jesus], for there is no other name given among mortals by which we must be saved" (Acts 4.12). Those who hold this view are not likely to devote much time and effort to learning about the many false religions. Since they are all false, why should anyone want to cram their heads with a knowledge of things that are not true? Doing so might even lead to a temptation to abandon one's own true faith or to the weakening of faith by an exposure to error.

Until quite recently, Catholics were not supposed to read works on the Index of Forbidden Books. Even professional educators were expected to obtain special permission if they felt the need to read them. The Index was meant to warn the unsuspecting that certain ideas were in conflict with the authentic teaching of the Catholic faith, a conflict they might not be fully aware of unless they were alerted to the danger. The effect of the ban on books---the Church had given up burning them---was to situate the Catholic Church squarely on the side of exclusivism.

The mentality of the nineteenth and the first half of the twentieth centuries was that there is no sustainable religious truth outside the teaching of the Church, and the only reason scholars should bother to study the works of forbidden authors was to refute them. Sometimes, however, such opposition can turn out to be counterproductive. Origen, the third-century theologian and scholar, wrote an entire treatise attacking the writings of Celsus. But Origen was honest enough to report the words of Celsus with reasonable accuracy, thus immortalizing Celsus and his thought for generations to come.

Needless to say, Catholics have not been the only ones to maintain that they alone are right, that all others are wrong, and that error has no rights. Luther is well known for the raw language he used in anathematizing the Pope of Rome, other Protestant reformers, and, in his later years, the Jews. Ask any zealous Moslem and he will assure you that Islam has superseded both Judaism and Christianity as the true religion. Even within Judaism, the ultraorthodox are hard pressed to recognize as true Jews those who espouse the ordination of women and engage in ecumenical efforts which might seem to relativize God's teaching or the Torah.

Doctrinal absolutism and exclusivism are characteristic of the three Abrahamic religions, though they all also have their liberal and moderate wings. Because of that internal diversity, it is inaccurate and quite unfair to propagate a stereotypical view of any of those religions, including Islam. Only a minority of Moslems support terrorism, while the vast majority are peace-loving and prayerful people, more prayerful, in fact, than most Christians on a day-to-day basis.

The more one learns about a second or third faith other than one's own, the greater is one's appreciation of them. And nothing helps one gain a deeper understanding of one's own religion than travel abroad, coupled with the broadening effect of reading about the teaching and practice of other religions, even those that are themselves exclusivist.

Inclusivism

Troubled by the fact that, after nearly two thousand years, some 80 percent of the people on earth are not Christian, some Catholic theologians began to feel that they had to deal with the question of the salvation of so many nonbelievers outside the true Church. What of the old axiom, Extra ecclesiam nulla salus—Outside the church there is no salvation?

As long ago as the Council of Trent (1545--1563), it was suggested that people who lead moral lives but have no knowledge of the saving grace of Christ can be saved by a "baptism of desire." This is not the ordinary means of salvation intended by God, but for people ignorant of Christianity yet who have good intentions, a baptism of desire can substitute for the baptism of water and provide access to salvation. Those who are saved by this extraordinary means still owe their good fortune to the mercy of God and the grace of Christ purchased by his death on the cross. Although the concept of baptism of desire thus retains the belief that there can be no salvation without Christ, it goes a step beyond exclusivism in seeking a way to include non-Christians on the path to salvation. A more contemporary version is Karl Rahner's concept of "the anonymous Christian," a righteous non-Christian who, without knowing it, lives a life in accord with the basic moral principles of the Christian faith.

In spite of such efforts, the basic premise of inclusivism may seem condescending, only a disguised form of exclusivism. That is true if inclusivism means that Christians have nothing to learn from non-Christians. If, on the other hand, what is meant is that the Christ principle is everywhere present and active in the world, whether as Logos or as Divine Wisdom, inclusivism is not so condescending. Then, while it would be true to say that the Christ was in Jesus, it would also be true to say that Jesus was in the Christ, implying that the Christ is broader than the Jewish idea of the Messiah, viewed as a particular individual. The Christ would then be seen as everywhere present and active, that is, as the Wisdom of God in which the great teachers of humanity have all participated. Then we might ask with Raimon Panikkar, "Whose Christ is he?"

Christians have a share in the divine revelation, but so too have others. May not these others have certain aspects of revelation not found explicitly and immediately in the Christian deposit of faith? In that case, while it would be true to say that Christianity provides its adherents with adequate means for salvation, that fact should not deny that other religions are "equal opportunity" sharers in leading their members to salvation. Panikkar might agree with this in principle but would probably want to add a cautionary note, "not quite so equal." In other words, this is not yet what is known as pluralism, the recognition that distinctively different religious traditions are paths to God and are worth preserving.


James M. Somerville taught philosophy for many years at Fordham University, where he was chair of the department and co-founder of the journal International Philosophical Quarterly. He is Professor Emeritus of Philosophy from Xavier University in Cincinnati and a Quest Book author (contributing to The Goddess Re-Awakening, 1989). His most recent book is The Mystical Sense of the Gospels (Crossroad, 1997).


Explorations: A Miracle of Nothingness

By Clarence R. Pedersen

Theosophical Society - Clarence Pedersen is currently the president of the Theosophical Book Gift Institute. He is the former Publications Manager for the Theosophical Publishing House and in the 1970s served six years on the Board of Directors of the American Section.Tell me please--what do I do when all the games have been played? When all the songs have been sung? When all the books have been written and all the books have been read? What do I do when I have done all this and I have done all that? When dialogue becomes monologue and the monologue slowly disappears into the mists of the Great Silence? What do I do if the omnipresent "why" of existence does not answer my question?

Am I empty then? Or is it that "my cup runneth over"? Or what? And why?

Is there perhaps an informed but unformed reality that lingers a fraction of a micromoment beyond my consciousness? Perhaps a reality that needs expression as it clamors silently for validation? Surely it needs substance.

No! Not so! It needs nothing! I--I am the one doing the needing, the longing, the aching. Reality is my rock. And I am comforted by my belief that, in spite of its nothingness, it is there. But of course this is only a belief. It is not an experience. Still I smile in inner contentment and gratitude when I believe that I feel its touch; when I feel its blessing.

But define it for me, please. What is this whose touch I cannot return? With whom I cannot discuss? And thus I can easily refute it. Yet I cannot refuse it. Whether I call it a dream, or a fantasy, or a moment of wishful thinking—still I cannot refuse it. Why is this? What is this I cannot refuse? Except when it interferes with my daily tasks or pleasures--my outreach to the world. (I am endlessly busy reaching.)

Yet even then I don't refuse it. I am simply unaware of it. It passes me by like a comet in a distant galaxy. Not noticeable. It is beyond my Umwelt--my capacity of awareness. I am oblivious to it.

It cannot be proven. Nor can it be denied. It is as enigmatic as eternity. As senseless as spacelessness. It is nonsense.

And so I leave it in the closet of my consciousness—with the door tightly closed—in pure darkness (where the light is brightest). And every now and then, in a rare unbusied moment, I glance surreptitiously at my closet door, wondering, "Could this be where my answer is hiding? And if so--why?"

But I have misplaced the key, and there is nobody to help me find it. But then perhaps there is nothing to find. A miracle of nothingness. Who knows?

One day, when my mind was empty, I discovered to my surprise that the closet door was never locked, and so I peeked inside and was engulfed with total tenderness. And it was really, really hard not to smile. And feel blessed.

It all fades away quickly of course. Fades from my enquiring and acquiring mind. My mind--the inquisitor.

I ask myself, "Will it return? This powerful, all knowing nothingness?" But that's the wrong question. It never went anyplace. How can it return? Go! Open the door again!


Clarence Pedersen is currently the president of the Theosophical Book Gift Institute. He is the former Publications Manager for the Theosophical Publishing House and in the 1970s served six years on the Board of Directors of the American Section.


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