Printed in the Summer 2021 issue of Quest magazine.
Citation: Hebert, Barbara, "Growth and Spiritual Struggle " Quest 108:3, pg 10-11
Barbara Hebert
National President
We can define spiritual struggle as a conflict or dissonance between what we hold sacred (our beliefs, including others who share those beliefs or the institution that houses them) and our experiences. This conflict results in emotions that often seem distressing.
There are many instances in which our experiences challenge our beliefs. For example, dissonance may arise when someone within the spiritual community behaves in ways that are unexpected or considered unspiritual. Another example might involve a time when an individual is faced with difficult life decisions, but his or her belief system does not provide support or guidance in making those decisions. For some, spiritual conflict may occur in times of crisis. During the past year and a half, it is likely that many have found themselves struggling in this way as our world has changed so dramatically.
Our spiritual beliefs support us and answer our questions about the world. They provide structure, meaning, and understanding in our lives. They create a sense of stability and security. The spiritual community becomes a family, sometimes even closer than the one into which we were born. When our experiences challenge our spiritual beliefs, we may feel as if our world has collapsed; it has gone dark and become chaotic and confusing. We struggle to find stability and security. In this situation, we may feel adrift, separate, and isolated from our spiritual community. We may experience fear and even anger.
No one wants to live through what some have called the Dark Night of the Soul. Although it is not widely discussed, it is a relatively common experience. This spiritual dissonance tends to be an intensely private time of questioning and anguish. One may ask questions like, “How can such pain and suffering be allowed?” “How can I live up to my spiritual values?” “Is there a deeper purpose to my life?” “Has my community abandoned me?” Very likely you have asked yourself these and similar questions during difficult times.
Many people regard spiritual struggle as a bad thing. We may assume that “the universe” or “a higher power” is telling us that we must not continue in the same way, that we have chosen the wrong path. However, if we look at the situation more objectively, we find that struggling (spiritually or in any other way) is an integral component of learning and growing.
If we don’t struggle, we don’t grow. As you think back over your life, when have you learned or grown the most? Typically, our greatest growth occurs during times of crisis or struggle.
In 1987, psychiatrist M. Scott Peck published The Different Drum: Community Making and Peace. In this book, he describes four stages of spiritual development. A brief discussion of these stages may help us understand the value of spiritual dissonance on our journey.
Peck’s first stage is called the chaotic-antisocial. Individuals in this stage are egocentric. Although they may say they love and care for others, they are primarily concerned about themselves—their own wants and needs—and can be manipulative and self-serving in acquiring what they want.
In an effort to move away from the chaos of this first stage, Peck speculates that some individuals move on to a second, formal-institutional stage. Here they become affiliated with some type of institution that provides security and stability. This stage is often marked by a focus on rules. Individuals at this level may be dogmatic and legalistic in their beliefs. Because security within the institution is of paramount importance, any change or challenge to the institution or its beliefs can cause tremendous upset and feelings of threat. Peck points out that stage two individuals can be found in every ideology.
Individuals arrive at Peck’s third stage, the skeptic-individual, as a result of a dissonance between their belief systems and their life experiences. Their belief systems no longer adequately answer their questions or explain the situations in which they find themselves. These people tend to self-identify or be perceived as nonbelievers, atheists, agnostics, or scientifically minded individuals who want researched and logical explanations for the meaning of life. They do not need the structure of an institution and feel free to question their beliefs. Many people in this stage are actively seeking answers to the meaning of life. They focus on social justice and work for social reform.
Those who continue to seek may find themselves in the final stage of Peck’s theory: the mystical-communal. Here individuals focus on community rather than individualism. They focus on unity rather than on separateness. They accept the lack of definitive answers and look to the mystery of the universe as part of the spiritual process. They are willing to live in the unknown, searching for the unknowable.
Clearly, Peck’s third stage, the skeptic-individual, is the questioning stage of spiritual development. In order to grow spiritually, we must question our beliefs. If there is no questioning, we are unlikely to grow spiritually.
The Ageless Wisdom and teachers throughout time have encouraged seekers to question, to self-reflect, and to listen to their inner voice for answers rather than listening to authority figures. We are encouraged to grow by continuing to seek Truth.
Perhaps another way of looking at the growth that occurs from facing a crisis is through the hero’s journey described by Joseph Campbell. In his book The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Campbell writes: “A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man.”
To relate this to spiritual struggle and growth, we may see ourselves in the role of hero. As the hero, we are forced from our comfortable daily life by a spiritual crisis. We battle through the crisis: the questioning, the feelings of being alone, afraid, and uncertain. As we successfully negotiate the battle, we find that we reenter the light. Our understanding of ourselves and our beliefs deepen and expand. We have grown spiritually and have become stronger and wiser. This growth influences others as well as ourselves.
We always have choices, of course. We can choose not to enter the battlefield, not to face the crisis head-on. We can choose to remain in the darkness, feeling abandoned and isolated. Or we can choose to analyze our lives and our belief systems. We can choose to navigate the labyrinth of confusion until we find our way out. This process is a difficult one and requires internal strength and fortitude, but it is the way of the hero. It enables us to deepen our understanding and beliefs. It provides the pathway to finding a new light that shines even brighter than previously.
If you have lived through such a time (which is likely), think back upon it. Remember what you were like before the crisis. Think about how you felt when the crisis occurred. Remember how you decided to face the situation and fight the battle: the courage it required, the times you may have faltered and gotten up again, the joy of moving forward, slow step by slow step. You are the hero! You won the fight. Through your spiritual struggles, you have transformed your life and the lives of those around you.