Printed in the Winter 2022 issue of Quest magazine.
Citation: Krocker, Aaron, "A Discovery of Home" Quest 110:1, pg 18-19
By Aaron Krocker
The year 2012 will forever remain in my memory and be kept in my heart. While many looked for aliens, meteor showers, pole shifts, or the snake god Quetzalcoatl, I discovered my new home in the Theosophical Society.
The concept of home is an important one for me. It suggests permanence, establishes community, and fosters something to strive for within. These were all things that I had taken for granted, but for which I had little appreciation.
As a prisoner, I have felt like an outcast, unknown and uncared for by everyone except my family and friends. But I did it to myself. I allowed my life to be motivated by substances and influenced by factors outside of my true Self.
The seven years of confinement prior to discovering the Society were spent in search of meaning—for my life, for life in general, and for something greater than myself in which I could hopefully find redemption. I joined an Apostolic Bible study, but became disheartened by what I felt was a too exclusive culture. I attended a few Catholic masses and studies, only to find that Catholicism didn’t resonate with me.
In the prison library, I came across a life changing and life shaping book—very simply written, but containing numerous concepts I was new to but that immediately felt right. The book? We’re All Doing Time by Bo Lozoff. It led me to Eastern systems of thought and practice: breathing exercises, meditation, mantra repetition, and yoga, to name a few.
That same year I found out about Gurumayi Chidvilasananda and Siddha Yoga and started participating in a study course based upon Siddha teachings called “In Search of the Self.” Here I learned how to open my heart and tap into the vital energy of the Self. But it still wasn’t enough. I still recite the Siddha mantra om shivaya namah (I honor my inner Self), and continue to benefit greatly from the course, but there seemed to be much that I was missing.
It wasn’t until I transferred from a maximum security prison to a medium security prison that I stumbled upon a library book that would open the door to Theosophy: Ancient Wisdom, Modern Insight by Shirley Nicholson. I was hooked. I read more, finally excited to visit the prison’s library. Ideas were discussed over the phone with family and outside with a few other inmates. Eventually I found out about the Society’s Prison Program through a prisoner resource list and immediately sent away for more information. I was not disappointed.
The more I read and the more study lessons I completed, the more I realized that Theosophy was what I had been searching for. I had become disillusioned with religious dogma, but I didn’t get that from Theosophy, maybe because Theosophy isn’t a religion. It doesn’t confine one’s thinking, condemn nonbelievers, or claim to be the one and only true way to salvation.
Theosophy is more than a collection of philosophies and practices, of lectures and books and articles. Theosophy, or the Ageless Wisdom, is a vital and vibrant guide for living life. Many religions and systems of thought set forth prescriptions for living a wholesome life. What makes Theosophy different, at least in my own opinion, is that it doesn’t attempt to monopolize truth. Instead, it looks at the numerous sources and presents the gems found in each one.
This Ageless Wisdom has opened my eyes to many concepts that have improved my life, bettered my character, and brightened my future. Through the Theosophical Society’s prison correspondence courses, I have discovered my purpose, which, to simplify, is to live well. Easy to say, but difficult to explain, as there are so many factors involved. At some point, after much practice, it becomes easier, but life still throws its challenges. Yet these challenges strengthen character so that a sense of contentment can germinate within.
I have learned that I am an expression of the cosmos, which is a manifested aspect of the Source, the Absolute, the Divine. By right, all other “expressions” are my kin: brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, mothers and fathers. By understanding this, I have come to appreciate the differences in others more and have grown to want happiness for all. This doesn’t mean that I don’t experience frustration, anger, or sadness, but when I do, the feelings are not as intense, nor do they last as long as they used to.
I’ve learned that whatever pain, frustration, cruelty, sorrow, or anger that I have either experienced or perpetuated is only the result of ignorance, either on my part or on that of others. Whatever has happened to me, for good or for ill, is merely the balancing of the karmic wheel. The good news is that balance can be achieved, and ignorance can be dissolved through experience and the application of wisdom.
Theosophy has taught me that the human experience is about evolving spiritually, mentally, physically, and wholesomely: unfolding from within into our truest and highest potential. This process is long and drawn out, but it enables one to benefit from a full and varied experience of being human.
These concepts have led me to an increased awareness that all beings are connected to one another. I have discovered a depth of potential within myself, and am beginning to feel it in others as well. Theosophy has humbled me, brought me to realize the inner truth, and inspired me to be better at being human.
Much is left to be learned, to be experienced, to be understood; but I am no longer afraid or confused about what my path is. Gratitude to my mentors, teachers, and role models along this path.
Aaron Krocker has been a participant in the TSA’s Prison Program since 2012.